|
|
|||||||||||
|
Born Feb. 11, 1926 in Hong Kong Died Sept. 26, 2004 in Perth, Western Australia Biography of LAI WAI-LIN (Matilda Vailene Fernandes)  Lunar New Year celebration in the cold winter day of February 11, 1926 a second daughter was born to the Lai family. Disappointed Mr. Lai realized his wife gave him two daughters in the marriage; very disturbed over the years that he had no son and no heir to the family wealth. Daughters were raised, food, clothed and received some minor degree of education at home. Once a female reached the age to marry and take another family’s name; taken into account with years of nurtured and supported a daughter; she would one day be serving another family. This exercise was implemented as “lost business” in contrast to a son who would bring in a bride to serve his own parents and his family. It was customary and maintaining that long-established tradition into the 1900’s Mr. Lai took the liberty acquired a second wife in the hope for a son. It was sad and sudden his first wife detected cancer the following year. LAI WAI-LIN was only one year old. She was loved and cared by her twelve year old elder sister. Mrs. Lai was perplexed, feared that her health condition will take her away permanently from her two daughters. Quietly, not known by anyone at home, she made arrangements with her own cousin’s family and one of her Aunt on her side of the family took LAI WAI-LIN to raise her as one of her own. Mr. Lai did not care much for LAI WAI-LIN and did not perceive of her departure at all. In any event, Mr. Lai was never at home; gone for business by the months out of Province. When at home, he spent his time briefly with his second wife, for the most part; he was out at saloons drinking or at mahjong houses with his cronies and business associates. A third wife moved into the house in the following year as second wife had no children. The third wife finally made Mr. Lai happy with the birth of his third child – the only son born and heir to the Lai’s family wealth. That was a happy year in the Lai family. The three Mrs. Lai got along well like siblings under one roof. In life’s extreme highs and lows, the Lai family again faced another tragedy in the following year LAI WAI-LIN’s mother died. Unfortunately, Mr. Lai’s continual attraction to fill his pastime was back to the mahjong in public gambling houses. He could be away from home for days! It was for that cause that Mr. Lai and his family’s prosperity and assets which consisted of a char coal supply division as well as a local family grocery store and dried foods shop were regrettably vanished prior to World War II. Before the death of Mrs. Lai, (first wife) she made arrangements that her first daughter who was of the right age to marry her off and leave the home permanently. On her 16th birthday, she was married into a good family. Her husband belonged to a family in seafood business. Most of his siblings and ancestors were fishermen. LAI WAI-LIN never saw her sister’s wedding ceremony, but months later, her elder sister paid her an unexpected visit at the Aunt’s house (their mother’s cousin) The older sister was unaware, but bitterly sad and heart-broken realized her younger sister: LAI WAI-LIN’s appearance after her struggle with polio. LAI WAI-LIN told her elder sister how much she wanted to play with the other children, but she was restrained to remain upstairs of the two storey building due to her scrawny weak legs. Once she got carried away. Challenged herself, climbed down, slipped and fell which was the explanation of that ugly scar on the upper left arm marked her undeviating decision never wore sleeveless clothing ever since. At the age of 11, she could walk normally and independently. LAI WAI-LIN was overly joyful to leave the Aunt’s home due to its environment, disgraceful hygiene and living habits, without knowing that her happiness again was short-lived. Aunt’s household had far too many people. Within the premises there was a tailor shop on the ground floor with many workers along with numerous sewing machines generated noises from machinery, chatting and yelling, the crew being dialectal Shanghai by class and profession as though one was deaf as the shop from opened to close for the day. Family members lived upstairs. The entire staff/employees ate two day meals together with the family in the tailor shop. Each day meals were prepared for about twenty mouths. The children were not home educated; no refinement or manners. Some children were even on top of the table to shovel and snatch more into their bowls. LAI WAI-LIN’s sister was determined to take her out of that home and save her from that kind of environment. The fisherman (the husband) was perceptive, supportive and did not interfere with his wife’s decision. It was within that short space of time LAI WAI-LIN learnt from her sister good manners, behavior of a young lady and even taught her some needle work and how to write a little. This peace was short-lived. From the soup to the fire as World War II broke out. LAI WAI-LIN and her married sister remained in Macau during Japanese occupation. 1942 was the last time LAI WAI-LIN saw her only sister in a shelter. The older sister was sick and there were no medical help. Her health deteriorated and soon after she died of typhoid fever. Her brother-in-law went “lost” in the crowds of billions of the local people running. As a teenager, LAI WAI-LIN was very thin built, stood around 5’ 4” under 90 lbs. with a frailly crop of hair and neglected dental, but very determined to carry on living. LAI WAI-LIN, though feared yet loathed her life, she chose to work for the Japanese soldiers than to die of hunger. Sometimes LAI WAI-LIN was lucky to receive a day’s work with a bowl of assortment of foods, a bonus if there was a small bag of salt. Some days only a couple of cigarettes which she still had to go around vigilantly to trade with for food or some decent foot wear, or go hungry one night. One vision remained in LAI WAI-LIN’s memory forever. Around her thirteenth birthday, an episode, an unpleasant incident LAI WAI LIN saw her little step brother (born of the third wife) sold to a couple of another family unknown to her. The step brother was dressed for the journey, hat, coat and boots, walked up a weathered raised wooden platform. The little boy’s hands were held on both sides by a man and a woman headed into a big boat bound for San Francisco, United States of America. The only brother she had and never ever knew him. That marked the final time she saw him who was about 5 years old around winter of 1939. The step-brother was born into the LAI family after LAI WAI-LIN’s mother had already shipped her over to live in the Aunt’s house. Recognition and reminiscence of the step brother was from photographs left behind by LAI WAI LIN’s eldest sister. There was no chance to know her “brother” and sadly, LAI WAI-LIN could not remember his official legal birth name. 1942 LAI WAI-LIN met a man named ANIBAL DE JESUS FERNANDES (aka “Freddy) from Macau which was a small diverse settlement of Chinese and Portuguese heritage. Freddy returned to Hong Kong/Macau from the United States of America in 1939, same year his older sister (two years’ difference) INES FERNANDES RIBEIRO was dying. Freddy stayed with his sister in Kowloon before going to Macau to see his youngest brother JOSE FERNANDES. When Freddy arrived from the USA, he was very handsome and full of life; he looked “Technicolor” and “bigger than life”… full of happy laughs and a booming voice. He brought back presents and gifts from the USA and told wonderful stories of life in the USA to his siblings and family who were all enchanted with him because he was so different from all of his other siblings. Freddy also had two other younger sisters (NENA and BEATRIZ) and also his eldest step-brother DAVID, were already living in Hong Kong too. During the war, Freddy who was then 36, lived and worked in TAIPA which is one of the two islands belonging to Macau. There is where he met LAI WAI-LIN who was only about 16 years of age. LAI WAI-LIN’s grandmother was working as a housekeeper for Freddy; and that was how Freddy met LAI WAI-LIN in 1942. The couple fell in love and even though there was some language problem, the couple remained together during the war. By the end of World Work II was marked on the occasion of the “Mid-Autumn Festival” September 1945 the birth of LAI WAI-LIN’s first daughter. Freddy’s deceased sister’s (INES FERNANDES RIBEIRO) widowed husband had a very high position in the Hong Kong Electric Company. He arranged for a job in the HK Electric for Freddy. Around the spring of 1948, one afternoon when Freddy was at work, LAI WAI-LIN thought she saw a miracle by the visit of her “lost in the war” one and only brother-in-law. It was a “hello and farewell situation” as he was on his way to Malaysia as work awaited him (dried seafood business). LAI WAI-LIN established temporarily in Diamond Hill, Kowloon Peninsula in 1948 with Freddy and their two daughters. A year or so later; they moved back to Hong Kong Island and lived in one of those prewar 2-storey building. Many of the houses were abandoned and not fit to live. At the time, Freddy and with a team were surveying these pre-war houses and the job was to detect and pinpoint such houses listed to be demolished. LAI WAI-LIN was expecting their third child due in the autumn of 1948. Spring time of that year, Freddy had an accident at work. His fall had put him near death lying in the Christian St. Paul’s hospital with seven broken ribs and one punctured lung. The doctors attempted everything they could to save him, but gave up hope that he will fully recover. The petite but certainly strong individual LAI WAI-LIN in her capacity and nearly seventh month of pregnancy, she went into the Christ the King Chapel adjacent to the hospital and she knelt in front of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s statue and prayed till dawn of the next day. She then was called by the staff of the hospital that they saw a miracle with positive signs of movements from Freddy. He was able to move his hands by crunching old newspapers to get his arm’s strength back. It was within three months he was up and walking again and discharged to go home. LAI WAI-LIN’s faith was so strong that she could move a mountain! Soon afterwards, even though she was born Buddhism, she was converted to Christianity. She was a faithful follower of the Protestant Church (The Church of England) in Hong Kong, being a “British Crown Colony” after the War. Freddy was twenty years her senior. He was born in Macau and grew up and married once in the United States. He left America just before WWII started. After his twin sons died at infancy of leukemia and his wife left him. Disheartened he returned to his homeland to see his aged father. Circumstances and the war prohibited Freddy to return to the States and then a “new life” interceded to remain in Asia. LAI WAI-LIN was never legally married due to Freddy’s past marital circumstances. The family settled at the North Point District of Hong Kong. It was in the late fifties unexpectedly one evening after work Freddy received a letter in the mail from his one living elder brother in California that his American wife had passed away. By that time, LAI WAI-LIN and Freddy had already their 7th daughter. Work was hectic on both sides; Freddy was the sole bread winner. LAI WAI LIN cared for all their seven daughters and kept the household. It was obvious that the couple wanted a son. In spite of their livelihood, Freddy was a great father and loved all of us. After his long day work outside, he would come home and help with the laundry – literally scrubbing clothes and diapers on the wash board – which he related to his co-workers that he went home every evening to “play the piano” for his wife! There were no electrical appliances and the only one item plugged to pull electricity to work was one small old radio. Clocks were not operated by batteries or electricity. Each night one has to remember to wind it up before bedtime. There was still cheerful conversation between LAI WAI LIN and Freddy. He had a great sense of humor and many occasions made her laugh out loud. At home Freddy used to call LAI WAIN LIN: “Mom” following what his children called her. Freddy used to say “Mom, the day I don’t look at pretty girls, is the day you know I’m old”! When friends, neighbors commented how pretty his daughters were, he would remark the good looks came from him! Dad’s star icon of old time favorites was Clark Gable. He used to call the secretary at his work place “Susan Haywood”! LAI WAI-LIN never went to school and she cannot read or write. It was painstaking for her to write even her own name so much so she had a wooden stamp made representing her authentication to banking transactions and kept under lock and key to be used only for trips to the Hong Kong Bank. Every other Friday Freddy would ask what “Mom” received each respective occasion from her Church. The Protestant Church gave out to the people what they collected from the U.S. Air Craft Carriers that docked the Hong Kong harbor mostly food produce. One occasion their conversation turned out hysterically priceless… LAI WAI-LIN told Freddy that the Church gave the people soap, but the product was no good! It was a very large yellowish block, did not have a fragrant scent like Palm Olive. She chopped it into hand held sizes and washed the clothes but the soap had no suds to create foam for the purpose. Off to the cupboard she went and brought the soap out to show Freddy who explained that it was not soap – it was chucks of cheese. Even though all the clothes were taken off the bamboo poles back to the washing board, she remarked “thank God, I did not wash the children from gifts of the Church”! At the time it was the beginning and introduction of various dairy products from the United States of America to the confined middle-class community. As time rolled by, almost every year or every alternate years following, LAI WAI-LIN added additional to the family as majority of her babies were born at home. After her seventh daughter…finally came her first son who was the eighth child in line. By LAI WAI-LIN’s 36th Birthday, she had her last and final child entirety of eleven children; in the sequence of seven daughters followed by four younger sons. With such a vast family, life was difficult particularly with only one bread winner. Quality life ultimately vanished with only the basic necessity remained and divided among all under one roof. Conspicuously in the fifties to early sixties era, before television or any form of entertaining units came into the homes, life was undemanding and simple. On Saturday evenings after the family meal, Freddy would go out with his elder brother to the movies – usually to catch an old western of John Wayne or Alan Ladd, or an exciting romantic motion picture by Clark Gable. LAI WAI-LIN will pick up her needle work whilst all the older children would all sit and entertain each other with homemade toys, like paper dolls, bean bags or singing of songs learnt at school or through the old radio. Among various Chinese channels, we had one and only English station of the oldies. We used to tune in to listen to Pat Boone, Patty Page, Connie Francis and the McGuire Sisters, to name a few favorites. That was pretty much how it went on weekends. School resumed again on Monday. Children were hardly taken out by parents or go anywhere for fun, not even the experience of “eating out” in restaurants. LAI WAI-LIN’s considered and dealt with all her children like part of her life’s duties. Though, from time to time she treated her flock other than the main meals; biscuits and milk or honey candy was a real treat to the kids. Furthermore, on the individual child’s birthday – there was a special treat of a piece of barbecued pork and one hard-boiled egg. That was the equivalent of what’s today – the birthday cake! Another life’s roller-coaster calamity terminated the flow of monthly regular income came to an end in the mid sixties. Late summer of 1965, Freddy who was the sole bread winner, had passed away after surgery. With limited time to recuperate and prematurely resumed work resulted to Freddy’s heart failure. LAI WAI-LIN was a widow at 39 years of age with eleven children under her wing. The eldest was 19 and the youngest only 3 years old. LAI WAI-LIN’s main concern was to keep all her children in the same house. LAI WAI-LIN enforced her older children who were already out of school and earning a living were obligatory to give up a large share of each of their individual salaries to fill the gap for LAI WAI-LIN’s lost monthly income as immediate refuge to harbor the essential security in management of the household and the unavoidable and crucial for the remaining children still at school. In every cluster in a family, or a class, a union or even a country there will be unforeseen problems in a difficult complicated world. For this cause, LAI WAI-LIN’s life was turned up-side down. Family morale was no longer one unit. In the spirit and confidence twisted to aimlessness by the eventual one-by-one dropped out as soon as those who could stand on their own two feet. This allegiance in itself, sequence of events of the eleven children would be another narration. LAI WAI LIN from a private life at home over the years; focused only with her own off-springs, she realized that her older children were no longer children, but turned into adults along with full liberty to seek their own lives. As natural resource came from a good foundation, everyone made decent lives of their own as the good time era revealed. It was beyond doubt and indeed unfortunate for LAI WAI-LIN’s life chance to acquire school education. Nevertheless LAI WAI-LIN came from a line of family of business people dealing with trading and sales; she knew well how to count and to budget well. It did not take her long to learn through television on a Chinese Channel (no language problem here in Cantonese). Every evening after the 6 pm news; she would glue herself to watch the rates and fluctuations of buying and selling gold bars as well as the updates of the local stock-market from the Hang Sang Bank Index daily reports and manifestations. Soon turned from the once upon a time, LAI WAI-LIN’s sheltered life resolved to a bolder person took risks to make more money. She was more independent outside the home than ever before in her life time. LAI WAI-LIN opened up to be more involved in the working world! She certainly doubled the resources from Freddy’s pension. For this cause, she had savings to bridge her through her emigration to Australia in 1989. By then, most of her children had already settled all over the world. LAI WAI-LIN joined one of her children she had decisively chosen to live with and spend her retirement years Western Australia. In her golden years, LAI WAI-LIN became a Great Grand Mother and enjoyed gardening, once in a while being taken out by her little Australian family to savor her favorites in Chinese Restaurants. She even made some friends in Perth. LAI WAI-LIN, affectionately known to many as “Po-Po” on the 26th of September 2004 was the passing of a wonderful and brave woman after complications from cancer. LAI WAI-LIN was 78 years old. While there was profound sadness from everyone, at the same time the family was comforted with the knowledge that any pain she experienced was monitored and managed very closely, that her last brief days in particular were very peaceful and that her final days with the family were just that “days” – rather than a prolonged period with a poor quality of life.  Written by Felicia Dean (nee Fernandes) ("Lena" February 2010 Dedicated in loving memory of my mother, Matilda Vailene Fernandes (Lai-Wai-Lin)= that all her children’s children will have the chance to read and know their wonderful Grandmother and Great Grandmother Also dedicated in loving memory of my brother-in-law the late Tony Gregoire who in life, always asked to learn more about his Mother-in-law; who “Anticipated” After Life... he said: “He will seek her out in Heaven”. |
 [ 7/07/2010 ] [ 5/04/2010 ] [ 7/03/2009 ] [ 23/10/2008 ] |
|||||||||||